3 Main Ingredients For Love l Eps 32
February 19, 2020
If any of these 3 are true then you should check out our latest episode:

  1. Want to guard against falling out of love?
  2. Want to figure out what may be missing from your marriage?
  3. Want to know how to increase intimacy, commitment or passion in your marriage?


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Here are our UNEDITED show notes for this week's episode.

  • Romantic Love: This form of love is a combination of intimacy and passion (missing commitment). Lovers who are under this category are said to not only be drawn and bonded physically but emotionally as well. This is one of the most common stepping stones to married life. In this kind of relationship, it lacks commitment. So it’s a little bit easier to scrap it out when both of the parties involved have had enough of it, without all the legal issues to deal with.
    • Cohabitating can lead to “Sliding Not Deciding”. Gender asymmetry. Women see cohabitation as a step toward marriage, but men see it as a way to stall marriage.
    • Relationships founded on convenience or ambiguity can interfere with the process of claiming people we love.
    • God isn’t ambiguous.
      • Genesis 17:7 And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you.
      • Exodus 6:7 I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the Lord your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.
      • Ezekiel 34:24  And I, the Lord, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them. I am the Lord; I have spoken.
      • Ezekiel 36:28  You shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers, and you shall be my people, and I will be your God.
      • Jeremiah 7:23 But this command I gave them: ‘Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be my people. And walk in all the way that I command you, that it may be well with you.’
      • Jeremiah 30:22  And you shall be my people, and I will be your God.”
      • Jeremiah 31:33 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
    • Cultivation Commitment:
      • Internal. Burn the Boats: Failure is not an option.
      • External. Restate and recommit your vows when it’s tough to apply them.
  • Companionate Love: It is characterized by the combination of intimacy and commitment (missing passion), and the absence of passion. 
    • It’s unrealistic to expect the exciting peaks of passion to remain constant. Excitement can decrease but the pleasure can still increase.
    • Cultivating Passion: 
      • Think of your sex drive like an appetite. You’re both not going to be hungry at the same time. The trick is to coordinate your sexual appetite.
      • Sex need not be spontaneous. Talk about it. The more you talk about and plan your sexual experience the more enjoyable it can be.
      • 1. Practice meaningful touches. Touching your spouse isn’t just for foreplay. It can be used to cultivate passion. (give examples)
      • 2. Use fun, friendship, and dating to leverage your intimacy into passion.
      • 3. Compliment your partner daily.
  • It’s the type of whirlwind romances that end up in our television sets. Emotional Vacuum. Going through the motions. This type of love is a combination of commitment and passion (without intimacy). 
    • Cultivate Intimacy: 
      • Spend Time Together.
      • Patiently and actively listen to your spouse. Eyes, ears, and emotions to your spouse.
      • Focus on what you have in common. If loving Jesus is something we have in common we should focus on that. 
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